Goldie Lookin’ Chain
@ Leeds Met

Where the hell do you start with a live review of GLC? Having seen them live before, I had some idea of what to expect, but even my broadest expectations were blown out of the water. Stood just feet from eight tracksuited, blinged – and clearly ganged – up Welshmen rapping about everything from injuring yourself so Claims Direct can get you compensation to old favourites involving Maggot’s Mum and an, um, appendage is not the easiest experience to describe.

To begin with, there was the group’s novel alternative to a smoke machine. As the Christmas songs faded out (This was the GLC Christmas party, after all) and the intro music throbbed, a wave of “draw” washed over the audience as the boys bounced onto the stage. This was then perpetuated between every song as they all scarpered off to top themselves up. No wonder there was so little trouble in the audience.

Musically, it’s easy to overlook the amount of thought that must go into each track. Covers of “Nelly Furdudno’s” Maneater (renamed Gran Rita, I’ll spare you the details) and the White Stripes’ My Doorbell, with a chorus of “I’m thinking bout your Mrs, when I’m gonna do her” may seem like drunken piss-takes, but the rapping tells a story and is genuinely funny at times, just a bit sick at others.

Favourites including “Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do”, “Your Missus Is A Nutter” and “Half Man Half Machine” got the audience singing, as did brand new tracks including “I’ve Got A Tattoo”, which were annoyingly catchy and easy to join in with.

And how did the Maggot fare after his Celebrity Big Brother exploits? Well, it’s difficult for someone as tall and gangly as him to hide, but he certainly wasn’t centre stage. And his stint on the nation’s TVs was only alluded to once, when Eggsy joked “in January I’m gonna lock him in my shitter for a month and stick a camera on him”.

I’m still to work out what Hurley from ‘Lost’ was doing on the decks, but it’s not impossible that the ‘atmosphere’ may have impaired my judgement….

In all, the GLC have still got a great live show, and the more well-known tracks they borrow, including Grange Hill and So Solid Crew, the more enjoyable it becomes. You may have thought they were lost in the realms of once-famous-dom, but I reckon there’s still a market for the GLC. You knows it.

Simon Middleyard